Remembering A Happy Life Moment

I had one of those happy life moments that on the surface would seem routine or humdrum but the more I think about it, the more I smile. I want to write it down before it fades.

Yesterday I had lunch with a friend, one of my best friends. It's something we do a couple of times a year. We typically go to the same place, eat the same thing, chat about recent events then part company and go on with our lives. A pattern we have followed for years.

But yesterday the familiar pattern changed. She had been out of town for a conference and needed to catch up on errands, including a trip to the grocery store to do meal prepping for the week. I tagged along because we weren't done talking though she assured me it was just a boring chore that needed to be done to get ready for the week ahead. The boring chore turned into a magical 30-40 minute trip purchasing groceries.

We walked in and grabbed a cart. Two had been smashed together and she lifted on one while I pulled the other loose. A store manager asked how we were doing and we said we were well then made our way towards produce. She had not made a list so she was winging it with ideas for what she might need for the week. A tentative list of meals was sketched out around items she already had at home. There would be 2 grilling nights with salmon and steak and two InstaPot nights around Mexican and Italian dishes. The cart was parked and she flitted around the produce section like a butterfly grabbing green beans, apples, salad kits, and such for sides and ingredients occasionally pausing and changing direction or putting something back and taking a new item. it was a brief but intricate dance around the produce department.

She had steak at home but needed salmon so we moved around to meats. There were some discounted salmon planks in a case but she was unsure if it would be enough. We went around to the fresh caught case and looked at the salmon. The butcher came over and asked if he could help. Silently she paused and then looked at him quizzically for a moment and said she didn't know if the package she was holding had enough salmon to make dinner. The butcher suggested she take the package home and use it to make dinner, if it turned out to not be enough then just have a glass of wine and not care. They both laughed and smiled and she took the package of salmon.

The central aisles were next. A can of beans and a jar of pasta sauce. I discovered that she likes a spicy red pepper pasta sauce but doesn't get it because no one else eats it, an idea I'm familiar with. Continuing through the aisles, we made it to the chip section. This is where the specific salsa she needed was to be found and an extra bag of tortilla chips, just in case. Bags of Poppables catch her attention and I ask if she's had them before. She hasn't and I say they're good, crunchy but not fried. A bag of creamy jalapeno catches her eye for a moment then she puts them back and we continue to dairy.

A couple of bottles of brewed coffee are thrown in the cart as we pass the milk case. I ask why pre-brewed and she says she can't stand the smell of coffee brewing. We turn a corner and head toward cheese and grab a bag of finely shredded Mexican cheese blend for one of the dishes. Then a flash crosses her face as she realizes she has forgotten a couple of things back in the aisles.

Non stick spray for the grilling was passed by so we make our way back to the middle of the store and grab a can of Pam. It's on the top shelf and she stretches to grab one. Then she starts jumping, almost like a rabbit hopping up and down. It's to try to see the price label for the can of spray. I stretch and look and tell her the price, laughing at her effort and how funny she looked for a moment. Another pause and a questioned look. We make our way toward the pasta aisle again, this time for boxes of macaroni in case there isn't any at the house. We find the gluten free section (she has Celiac Disease) and see what's on sale. I hear her story about the Barilla pasta company and their opposition to gay rights and she tells me she is torn because she doesn't agree with the company's policy towards LGBTQ people but they make the best gluten free pasta. I spot a store brand gluten free pasta on sale and she says that's new and she hasn't tried it so she gets a box of elbows and puts it in the cart.

We're done and we make our way towards the checkouts. The manager we ran into earlier asks us again if we are still doing well and we say we are. One last 'aha' moment as she realized she forgot the finely shredded mozzarella cheese for the pasta dish. By now she is tired and her back is hurting and she says it's not worth going back for but I insist and I quickly walk across the store and pick up one last item for her. I return to find her beginning to check out and asking the bag boy to balance the groceries across the three bags she brought in to use so that none of them are overly heavy. We leave the store, cart loaded, and head to her car.

She pops her trunk and lifts the gate. I grab two bags and place them in the back as she grabs the last bag. The cart is put in the return station. We get ready to say goodbye and I tell her she lied to me, that going grocery shopping with her was anything but boring and that it was a most entertaining experience. She laughs at that, maybe with some disbelief, but thanks me for joining her on the stop. We hug, she gets in her car and heads home.

For something so common, so mundane, the chore of grocery shopping with my friend ended up being filled with little, everyday, happy life moments. It was not the boring drudgery she was telling me it would be but she normally does this by herself. I felt privileged to be able to spend the time with her and get a glimpse into a regular, if not exciting, task she does to make her life work. And it may sound stupid or corny but being able to be a part of her regular life and see her brief interactions with other people, her very real puzzling through her thoughts, and seeing her smile and enjoy her own moments of happiness really made me smile. Talking to her and understanding why she made the decisions she did and just getting to know her better in these little ways made for a real moment of happiness for myself that I did not want to lose so I wrote it down to remember. These ordinary events are sometimes what really make life wonderful and worth living. This time with friends matters.